Oh Gerard Bulter

He's probably an ass. Maybe it's the lack of ....ahem...male companionship the last couple of months (yes.. months...) that is to blame for the effect that Gerard Butler has had on me lately.
PS I LOVE YOU



The Ugly Truth





and now I hear 300 is a must see.





I am breathless. Just talking about him with the girls at lunch today sent me in need of chocolate Lindt balls... He's not even my type! I mean yes, I like manly men. Strong men. Smart men who fix stuff ( I have been watching the HG channel just to watch the hot contractor/plumbers/designers etc.!)He's famous. He's overly cocky. A bit of man-slut, from what I gather.




At the same time, I am lately flooded with the feelings and memories of a man I once had the most amazing intellectual intercourse with, in my late teens and early 20's. We would talk for hours. About everything. He still has the most wicked sense of humor I have ever encountered. I found his company comforting, sexy, inspiring and natural. We were not physically attracted to each other, as we were not the physical types we usually were drawn to. We never named the sexual tension between us because I think we were both afraid and hesitated due to the fact he wasn't into girls who had a little extra and I wasn't into light featured dudes. But man- looking back now and understanding just how powerful that connection really was for me- I want some more! A few mutual pals who saw "it" between us hinted and teased. Had he made a move, I more than likely would have followed suit. We drifted apart and I have seen him once or twice, briefly in the last 11 years. He haunts me though and I have never openly discussed it until now. In a lot of ways he set the bar for guys later on I dated or openly admitted I was crushin on.
So I have been thinking about him and Gerard Butler. Two men who represent what I want in my next man-friend. Confidence, sexiness, smarts, awesome mutual communication, wicked sense of humor, who likes to travel. But also throw in there that he'll cook sometimes, massage my neck while we are watching a movie on the couch, text me randomly with sweet/funny/sexy thoughts and want to share his life. Not too much to ask, right?
There is a lid for every pot. I have tried a few on thus far, none have been right. Perhaps this new year there will bring some new prospects.
Until then, Gerard Butler- you'll have to do. ;)

onto the 31st

Yesterday was my birthday. 31. Yep. It feels good. Familiar and solid. I must be growing into my skin.
Birthday time, Christmas time and New Years always make me reflect on my journey thus far. I think about who I was 10 years ago, freshly turned 21 and eagerly exploring the boundaries of what it mean to be an adult. I asked myself " when did I feel like an adult?''. I can honestly yesterday was the first time I could say I identified with that role.
Being an adult means lots of things. It means paying the bills on time. It means being financially accountable. It means eating the things that make you feel good (most of the time).It means speaking the truth with love. It means getting 9 hours of sleep each night. Taking my vitamins. Saying no when I need to. Appreciating what I have. Letting go of what doesn't serve my highest good.
Lots of people have come and gone from my life, not without leaving an impression. There are moments when I think of some people and miss them terribly. An inside joke, a knowing touch, some tears spilled- all of it matters. Would I go back? Not on your life. There isn't anything I need back there now that would move me forward. Except love- there is always love.
What I have now is a cozy home, a cat who is a little too much like me, a brother who serves as an example of what kind of man I'd like my future husband to be and is my best friend, a mother who loves me with all her heart and allows me to be who I am, dear friends that support and encourage my forward movement, a car that's paid for (thanks dad!), family who helps me out with the necessary life lessons, a heart that is opening ever wider and making more love for a great and fitting love of self and in partnership. And above all else- a sense of gratitude for all that I am , all I have been, and everything I will be.

Fallin' In Love, All Over Again

Oh Hello, there Fall!
I saw you sneaking up on me.
Is it naughty of me to admit I am enjoying your seduction?

You know I am a fool for you- Summer has it's charms and I wasn't afraid to sieze them this year... but somehow, you dear, sweet, sexy Fall will always own my heart.

Some of my favorite things I like to do with Fall:

selecting pumpkin spice candles to burned up until my birthday
making pumpkin bread and / or pumpkin chocolate chip muffins
going to the pumpkin patch
apple cider and cake donuts
Halloween (I have selected my costume, and will begin it's construction on Oct. 1. It's no Cupcake - I can't beat last year's amazing costume. But this year's costume will definitely be just as fun!)
watching movies I associate with Fall- "Practical Magic", "Old School", Hocus Pocus"
Make use of the crock pot - beef stew, chili, pot roast. Beef it's what's for dinner.
squash with every dinner! Yummy!
going to the pumpkin path and carving pumpkins
walks through the woods- it smells so divine

I look forward to falling in love with you a little bit more this year, Fall. I so enjoy discovering new secrets of Autumal delight.
I guess you might say I am Fallin' Hard.

Love Always,
Paula Lu

The Woman in the Mirror

This has so many different meanings. Today, on the what is known astrologically has the hardest day of the year, I let go of things that have served their full purpose.
Roughness can smooth out surfaces. And make clarity of purpose that much easier to see.

The Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson (R.I.P)

I'm Gonna Make A Change
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right...

As I, Turn Up The Collar On
My Favorite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of
A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No Home
Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me
Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change

Bubbling n' simmering

There are things simmering away around here... I have been diligently working on my paintings for the new Etsy store I am opening. The whimsical collection will be made into prints and I will sell them online. It has been so fun to come back to my artist self. I forgot I was an artist for the last ten years.
Since remembering, not only has my appetite for inspiration and creativity expanded, but I am finding inspiration everywhere. I have to keep a small notebook on me at all times for sketching ideas, writing phrases of inspiration and setting goals.
The shop is part of my grand master plan to work independently and abundantly for myself. I would like to leave my great job to do work that makes my heart sing and my head buzz with passionate satisfaction. The Grand Master Plan is roughly outlined as follows:

1.)Open Etsy shop, have it up and running by fall/ winter 2009. It will be successful as it's own entity that does well; serving as extra income and an outlet for my creative inspiration. I will also be open to custom orders (similar to custom paintings I have done for friends as gifts)
2.) study astrology under experienced local/global astrologer(s). Become more knowledgeable in astrology, so that my natal chart readings and counseling skills are greatly improved.
3.) Build website for my astrological & intuitive consulting practice.
4.)Continue event wedding planning- no more than 1-3 weddings per year. Content with this being a back burner aspect of my work.
5.)lighten my work load at my current job, to allow for astrological and/ or intuitive readings a couple of days a week, and time for painting/sewing/crafting for the shop.
6.) leave my current job to work for myself, while maintaining current level of health care/ insurance and making as much or more than I currently do. Consistently booking and keeping 18-35 readings per month. (panic sets in as I wonder where the clients will come from!!!)
7.) save nest egg for down payment on a home that has space for an office/studio, mud room, big kitchen (w/ a dishwasher lots of cabinets) and guest room(s).
8.) go on one big vacation a year outside of the US.
9.) be open to meeting a partner to share it all with and do.


I expect the Grand Master Plan to take some time to complete ( a couple of years?). Once I do, it will be time for another plan to be formed for some other chapter in my life. For now, this plan is cooking away, bubbling up with good things. And yes, it's hard work and I am tired- I also feel certain of my direction.


I am living the dream, my friends. Yes, indeedy.

It smells like summer rain and steel magnolias

It's Tuesday which means its my Sunday. I have spent it doing very exciting things like:
*washing dishes
*folding laundry
*paying bills
*wedding client research
*watching chick flicks one after the other (Ella Enchanted, Little Women, and Steel Magnolias at present)
*making beef stew

Yes- beef stew in August. There is indeed something wrong with this picture. A few hours a go, I was sitting on my love seat, fully engrossed in "Little Women" and folding laundry, when suddenly a soft breeze brought the smell of an impending summer rain to my nose. Not a few seconds later, I heard the soft pitter patter of the rain on the leaves of the tree just outside my window. I sighed. It smells so good. And that means that yes, oh crap, yes, Fall is on it's way.
Which led me to making beef stew. It's simmering away on the stove now, the tempting smells of beef, beaujolais, and onions cooking to sweet perfection. It saddens me to be making it and yet- it's somehow perfect for this evening.


Using wine to cook with is an excuse to have a little. Beaujolais for one? Yes please. I can already feel the buzz....Glory to God that I am such a cheap date!

August Beef Stew (for one)
1 lb of chuck stew meat
1 onion, chopped
2 whole garlic cloves
1/2 c. gluten free flour
3 stalks of celery, chopped
2 red potatoes, cubed
2 c. beef broth
2 tbspn. dijon mustard
1 cup carrots, chopped
1 c. - ish red wine (make sure you have a little nip to help the cooking process along)
salt & pepper to taste

Dredge the stew meat in the flour. Brown in a pan, in enough olive oil to coat the bottom. Add the onions, salt, pepper and garlic; saute until nicely browned. Add beef broth, wine, mustard, and the rest of the veggies. Simmer for 1 - 2 hours or until meat is tender. Polish off the bottle.

Serve yourself up a bowl, toast up 1/2 of a sprouted english muffin with butter, and prepare to tuck into a nice Autumnal meal while watching another awesome episode of "Tori & Dean- Home Sweet Hollywood".
Wow. My life is beyond superb.

On an unrelated note- I had a spontaneous afternoon with Athena yesterday. We met up for happy hour at the Cedar Hills McMenammins, a movie, and ice cream after. We saw "500 Days of Summer". It was really funny- which was unexpected, and very welcome. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. It's a great little indie flick that I highly recommend. Guys- I think you will find it equally amusing. It takes us to a place we have all been to at least once in our lives.

Oh- climax time in "Steel Magnolias"- Julia Robert's character is just about to bite it in the hospital. It's Sally Field's big scene. Where's the Kleenex???......

Potato Salad and the seizing of summer

So I have started this thing called Seize the Summer. It was inspired by a few things-
1.) I have a big beautiful backyard
2.)I have great friends I love to hang out with, though there isn't always the time to do so
3.) It's summer and the livin' is easy

I decided to combine all of these things together in an inspired way, inviting any of my friends to come and seize the summer with me one night a week. The BBQ will be planned for a different night each week, so as to allow for everyone who wants to come, to be able to do so at least once or twice.
Last week was week number one and it was quite successful though very, very hot. With temperatures in the triple digits, those in attendance took turns misting each other down with a spray bottle while indulging in grilled delights and soulful salad creations.

Speaking of soulful salad creations- this week I have endeavored to make potato salad. It has been at least 10 years since I have made this salad. We used to eat it a lot growing up. All of the women in my family make a delicious version. My Grandma Peggy started the tradition of incorporating black olives and I believe dill pickles and maybe fresh dill (or it could just be my imagination), my mother followed her mother's recipe closely sans fresh dill but with slightly more onion, cucumber and mayonnaise. My dad's mother also made a scrumptious version. Grandma Pauline's potato salad made rare appearances in my childhood because more times often than not, her macaroni salad was requested. Her Potato salad was sans olives and cucumbers, but I am sure there were definitely some of my Grandpa's dill pickles in there. Grandma Pauline's signature was hard-boiled egg slices sprinkled with paprika and artfully placed on the top of the salad. Very 1940's-1950's. And it was my favorite part.
As I made the salad today, I had memories of all of these women present in my kitchen. Bits and pieces of afternoons spent eating BBQ and potato salad. Each of these women, whether they know it or not, as influenced me on many levels. And as tribute, I named this potato salad in honor of all of them, while adding my own flavor.

Three Geminis and a Sag Potato Salad






2 lbs. red potatoes, boiled and roughly cubed
1 whole onion- I used Walla Walla because it is in season, and also after reading my friend Tyson's blog, I felt inclined to partake. )
4 dill pickles, chopped (I used 2 and in retrospect feel it needed more)
2 cans of Sliced black olives (I used one, two is better)
6 hard-boiled eggs, save two for garnish
4 stalks of celery, chopped
1 large cucumber, chopped
2-3 tbspns. fresh dill (save 1 tbspn. to sprinkle as garnish)
1 1/2 cups mayonnaise (I barely had a cup and it's fine. I added some pickle juice to stretch it out a bit.)
1-2 tbsp. of yellow mustard
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 tsp.+ salt
1tsp.+pepper
paprika for garnish


Add potatoes, onion, olives, pickles, cucumber, celery, dill and eggs in an extra large mixing bowl.
In a small bowl, combine the mayo, mustard, vinegar, pickle juice, salt and pepper. Mix well. Pour over the rest of the ingredients; combine gently until dressing is thoroughly incorporated.
Take the last 2 hard-boiled eggs and put them though an egg slicer, or slice them very thinly. Artfully arranged over the top of the salad. Sprinkle with paprika and dill. Cover and chill at least an hour.
This salad is always better the next day, after the flavors have had a day or so to marry and live happily ever after.

*post-editing note* the potato salad turned out splendidily. IN attendance last night were Derrick, and our good friends/co-workers Belinda & Tyson. We enjoyed a warm summer evening of hot dogs, corn on the cob, watermelon, beer and of course the aformentioned salad. MAny laughs were had over a game of "Loaded Questions" and visions of hot pockets surely danced in all of our heads last night.....