Faith

Currently, I find myself in the open living room here at Casa Delfin. It's close to sunset. I have spent the day after meeting up with Kelly, Todd & company at Mi Casa for brunch (and finally a pina colada!), doing exactly what I want: nothing.

Well, not nothing, exactly.

Nothing consisted of this:


Beach time




yes, in the Magic Hammock. Again. Seriously. I could be quite happy here.


I have been surrounded this week by loving couples, made up of awesome men and the strong, beautiful women they cherish. It is refreshing to see that. And dear reader, I needed to see that. Because I will confess that I have moments of doubt. Yes, I have faith that there is a lid for every pot. Truly I do....and sometimes doubt creeps in and I wonder if I'll ever really find mine.

Could he really be out there. Could we be, as Kelly and Todd so aptly spoke in their ceremony,
"...apart, yet connected in our ignorance of each other, like two apples sharing a common tree"?

I am, oddly enough, in this hammock I am reading books that all have the topic of marriage in them in some way or another. That wasn't totally planned, and has none the less set me thinking intensely on the subject.

Today, I have been reading "Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy". You'll have to forgive me here, as I developed a very dear love for Jane Austen in high school, and subsequently, Bridget Jones, and Colin Firth in well... anything, but especially as either Fitzwilliam Darcy or Mark Darcy. Mr. Darcy has long symbolized for me, the sort of man I most wanted to be in partnership with. The struggles of coming together, having to be overcome by the pride and prejudices we each feel. Ultimately, ending in the perfect match for each.

Yes, I realize its just a story. I am a hopeless romantic with a teenaged girl's dreams secreted inside. Once upon a time, I even thought I had most certainly glimpsed my own Mr. Darcy. But alas, I was wrong. Because if I had, he would have let me know. Instead, there is only silence which I interpreted as a buzzer answering "WRONG!!!!!". *sigh*

So, I sit here, on this sofa, listening to the kids splash in the pool, and Sting sing on the radio about losing his faith, and wonder....

Is HE really out there? Seeing my friends together in this incredible relationships brings some hope. It must be possible. It must be. These women are so fantastic and the men see it- they see all of it. They love them with so much conviction, and as a result, though I am sure these relationships are not perfect, I am so inspired by observing the way these people love each other. Unconditionally, with total acceptance. Wow. Nice to finally see that in action.

too much time in the hammock today, friends.....tooo much....

Bad Poetry in Mexico

"Writing Bad Poetry in Mexico"

not quite heartbroken
wasn't quite in love
but somewhere between wistful longing and
self-assured faith
enough for me too,

is me, in Mexico, writing bad poetry

Someday
I'd like to write great poetry in my own backyard

Wedding Day

My day began leisurely. I wanted some time to myself, to heal (as Montezuma had had his is revenge a bit the previous day) before I was "on" wedding planner/ officiant mode. So I woke and showered around 8am and layed out in my Magic Hammock for an hour or two, reading all about Lizzy and her William. I sighed heavily, pulled myself out of the hammock, and went in to spend some time fixin' myself up pretty.

I had no sooner, run a comb through my hair, when I heard the bride's mom and sister calling for me in the courtyard. It was only noon, and I wasn't due at the villa until 2pm. They had come on behalf of the bride, who was summoning me early.

I gathered my outfit, make-up and all the necessities and we went. I know my presence on site was probably a soothing balm, and what was most needed. There wasn't much for me to do on arrival, so I painted my toenails a sparkly light blue by the pool, as the men worked to set up the wedding. It was the most calm and serene atmosphere. Usually it's a frenzy of activity and I am caught up in the middle of it, day of the event. And while I was plenty busy when it was time, the pace was slowed immensely. I enjoyed that slow build up very much.




It was during this time that an iguana was found swimming in the pool and had to be plucked out. That's Mexico....

It was warm. Everyone glistened in excitement for sunset. Pictures were taken.



Rueban on spanish guitar. Yours truly at the altar, ceremony in hand.


Bridesmaids, groomsman, family, sunset. Ocean as witness.


Here comes the bride!




The bride looked "amazeeen". So did the groom. In the most heartfelt ceremony I have ever had the honor of officiating, we were all moved to tears. I stood between the two of them as they spoke their promises and proclaimed their love to one another. I felt so unbelievable privileged. This is what love is. It moves us to want to commit in the sharing of all that we were, are and will be to one another and make a life of our separate parts, together. I was beyond moved and had to remind myself to keep my composure, being the officiant and all.



Once the kiss sealed the deal, they took the newlywed glow to the reception. There was toasting of such deep and genuine felicity by most and love from all. The food was delish, the stars aligned, and the moon shone it's blessing to the lovers now wed.

*sigh*

What a lovely wedding day. I walked home by myself, the moon and ocean my companions, falling into bed thoroughly exhausted.

Dancing in the Moonlight

Last night was the bachelorette's last night as a single girl.
All of the women in our group celebrated this gorgeous woman by dancing into the night at the Burro Baracho here in Troncones.


Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sister, and friends shook their groove thangs in the hot humid night. And that included me. When I woke up this morning, my feet were swollen from dancing barefoot on the bare concrete floor. Ay carrumba!










OH Joe! Work it!

During the evening, I took a time out and walked down to the water. I wanted to cool my body with the smell and sensation of the sea. And ease the pain of that obscure blisters my Chaco's had left me from walking the village road. Under a bright moon, I danced a duet with the Ocean to Madonna's "Holiday". I could almost feel my Dad there with me too, smiling at his lovely, independent, laughing eldest daughter to the artist that began it all for her, so many years ago. I could feel how proud he is of me, "brave girl I am to be traipsing off in the world". I felt really connected to everything in those moments.


I wasn't drunk off alcohol, and yet I was definitely feeling the effects of intoxication. With life that is.

Message on the Breeze, just for me.....

"Go forward with an open heart, knowing that you are always supported.
Trust that you are already taken care of.
Fear less.
Do not let fear keep you from joy."

Magic Hammock

Here I am.
In a hammock.
on the beach.
in Mexico.
by myself.




I really do love traveling solo. It's the only way I know how, really.
the delicious luxury of doing what I want when I want.
Beholden to no one.
Makes me feel fearless.
Welcomed by the world.
Embracing my singleness, and being totally 100% myself.



I have finally given in to the fact that I will have no communication to the outside world, while i am here. I am a little miffed at TMobile, because I paid for the service to work here, and was told it would. And it's not. I will be calling them with some strong words when I get home. My laptop just isn't picking up the wifi signal here. I am surrendering and taking it as a sign that I need to totally disconnect fro my greatest good. *sigh*

so ....here I am.

What brings me to Mexico?
Kelly & Todd do.
So that I can marry them and they can say their I do's.
Today is Weds. The wedding is Friday.
There are 38 of us gathered from far and wide for this big event.
We have descended upon this little village of Troncones for the week.

Troncones is the real deal- the real Mexico. A village snuggled on the beach.
I am staying at the Casa Delfin Sonreinte. It's lovely here. One of the owners, Glen is up from California for the week. The inn keepers, Alrberto & Maria are so welcoming and warm. The hospitality is so wonderful.


There is a pool and a horse shoe pit.


And my most favorite place, the shaded hammock area, on the beach.

It's quiet with the roar of the ocean to soothe, and the swing of the hammock to lull me into a relaxed state as I read and write.

It's heaven, here in this hammock. Magical.



There goes an iguana on the beach.



So glad I came.

mexico madness

Well.. I am here.
And nothing works.
I am typing now on another guests MAC. She is from Seattle and oddly enough it seems there are a lot of people in this tiny village visiting form there.

My phone doesn't work...it just says "searching"... how ironic. As it seems to be what I have been doing my whole life....
Anyhoo, so no signal on my MAC. But on this one! Why!!!! Maybe it's finally time ot seriously consider getting a new laptop. Going to take it down to kelly and todd's villa in a bit and try there. perhaps there will be some tech savvy folks there to help me figure it out.

Mexico is lovely. The roar of the ocean lulls me to sleep (along with the air conditioners). Mexico feels very much like I imagine my own birthplace was in its beginning- the wild wild west- tropical edition. Its in the mid 80's, pleasantly humid and gorgeous.
I am staying at a place called Casa Delfin Sonriente ( the smiling dolphin) and i'll post pictures later....its kind of like camping.

On the beach, free lovely breakfast every day and the other guests and the caretakers are all kind and welcoming.

Last night at the ol' Burro Barracho, things got a little wild. I was in no mood to participate in the madness, as I was running on 4 hours sleep and airplane food. I am sure there will be more to tell later. iT'S GOING TO BE AN INTERESTING WEEK!


Wish you all were here....

xoxoxo
Paula Lu