Being True To Myself- Post Dare#1 Wrap-Up

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"Once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
~Margery Williams, "The Velveteen Rabbit"

Today is the last day of January and wow, I did some daring things. A lot of it was behind the scenes and not easily scene with the naked eye. I feel it inside me, though, something was cracked open. it feels good. I journaled 90% of the time, and did some deep digging. I wanted to do a Post-Dare wrap up, so here it is:

Q: What was the most difficult part of this month's dare, " Be True To Myself".

A: The hardest part was getting really, unabashedly, blatantly honest with myself. Doing so had me realizing that I tell myself a plethora of things on a daily basis, which are based in untruth, fear and shame. Holy crap- that was a bitter pill to swallow because I had have prided myself on how honest I am.

Q: Were there any particular themes that came up, repeatedly for you?
A: Yes- Acceptance, self-compassion, and creativity were all closely linked.

Q: When did you feel most vulnerable?
A: On the first day- publicly posting about my sex life for the world to see was liberating, scary, and truly enlightening. I was pleasantly surprised by all of the support I received around that particular post. It was important for me to remove the shame around the idea of celibacy for myself. Saying it " out loud" made me feel more alive, connected and at peace with the whole situation. It is what it is, until it's not.

Q:On a scale of 1- 5, rate the difficulty of this dare.
A: 4.5. Did I mention I publicly declared the state of my sex life? LOL. Whats more is that I took myself to some deeply vulnerable places.

Q: How were you inspired by what you learned?
A: The only way to move forward, is to face what one is afraid and ashamed of. By keeping part of myself in the dark, I prevent myself from really and truly being seen. I hold back from contributing to my friendships, work, and to myself on the whole. it has also inspired me to look at the possibilities of what is next for in terms of my career. I have spent over a decade where I am now. The desire to leap into something more creative and expressive is sounding appealing. I don't even know what that looks like, right now. I do know that just by being honest with myself about the desire to move in a new direction, will be the start.

Q; So , what's next and what are you looking forward to most about the next dare?
A: The next dare is learning/trying to ski and snowboard (my friend Athena, has convinced me that since she teaches snowboarding, I would be a perfect student for her. Well, maybe not perfect, and I am willing to give it a go.) I am looking forward to laughing - a lot. Me on a snowboard? On skis? Yeah- it will be entertaining if nothing else!