Size Matters

Lately, the issue of size has been on my mind.
No, not that.
I am talking about the size of our being, and how that matters. I have become supremely aware of the connecting forces between big and small.
These days, I am feeling smaller, physically. But I feel immensely grandiose in my soul. My heart, though still sometimes timid, remains bold,brave and free. Expanding by lifetimes and galaxies.

I have spent the majority of my life feeling uncomfortable and ginormous in this body. I measured my outside continuously to those around me. I was always the bigger one, in my eyes. And that was not a good thing. The largeness I often felt, was linked to my physical aspects. Recently, that view has shifted. Sloughing away the layers of emotion accumulated, my smallness comes into view. I really am quite tiny. 5' 1''. The scale says I have gained muscle- my closet says "welcome back to articles of clothing you haven't been able to wear in years."

The smallness feels powerful, because with it comes the revelation of the lightness of being. Just being. In this skin. In this life. In this moment. Breathing. Loving. Growing. The lightness both in the weight of my soul and my physical body translates to even bigger expansion of my mind and heart.

When I stand in that smallness, I am made bigger. Huge. Ginormous. Gargantuan.
I am infinite and almighty.
I am possible and miraculous.
I am magical and realistic.
I am the walrus. Cukoo-ca-chu.
I have this urge to jump from a great distance, to delight in the fall all the while knowing I will land safely in a giant net.

Like a trapeze. Life happens between those bars.

Its very clear to me now that who I am is not about the size of the boat- its most definitely the motion in the ocean. I delight in my petite-ness, and yet I will not play small. I am so much bigger than that.


In this life, I came here to remember who I am.
And who I am is a shining beacon of light, reminding those around me that it lives inside them too.
I came to grow in partnership.
I came to burn and to be burned.
I came to be closed and then open.
I came to destroy and create.
I came here to see you and mirror back the beauty, truth , and love the radiates out farther than the human eyes can see.
I can see far enough out for my heart to bask in its loveliness. Out beyond the trees.
Far beyond that magic moon.
Out there- in the years of light to the places we know not even exist. The size of that matter, significantly insignificant.

Your size matters too. How big is your heart?
How light is your soul?
How far out does that light shine?
Does it weigh you down or lift you up?
When my light connects with yours, the expansion is collective and powerful. Like the stars in the sky...our brilliance together brightens the night.
That size matters.