To All the Ones Who Let Me Go

Thank you.
For breaking my heart.
For making me question my own agendas.
Thank you for making me see parts of myself that needed loving illumination.
Thanks for the laughter.
Thanks for the hot tears of anger.
Thanks for the tender goodbyes.
Thanks for the inside jokes that will live on- our own private shrine to our time spent together.
Thank you for loving me enough to know I wasn't what you needed.
Thank you for pushing me forward into this place I am now.

This afternoon, after a light nap, I stood looking out the window of my room.
The sun was dancing through the clouds, and a mist of rain swirled around intermittently. .
There between the veils of this place and the next, I saw it.
In the quiet, of my mind, and my heart, my soul.
I glimpsed, for the first time in years, what is to come for me.
And for everyplace I went searching for what is on it's way to me now, of it's own timing and accord- I see the purpose behind it all so clearly.
It is almost blinding.
Something in me has turned over into a new direction, surprising and completely unexpected. The walls I have worked to dismantle, and the load I have worked to lighten are in plain sight.
There is a calm residing in my bones like I have never known.
Come what may, when it will.
Fear is absent and the connection true and absolute.
I wait patiently for it's arrival, the word "yes", on the tip of my tongue a thousand times a day. I understand that I could not receive it so openly in my heart, if not for
the ones who let me go.
Thank you.