January 20, 2009 8:00am
NYC, Portland Square Hotel, room # 622
Today is Obama's inauguration day. I have finally figured out how to work the remote to my tv and have it on.
Now before I get into the details of my international departure, let me take a few minutes to reflect on this historic day...
Many of us, in the years to come, will remember where we were when President Barack Obama was sworn in. I found myself sandwiched in yet another shuttle, en route to JFK. I was seated in the middle, directly behind our Russian driver. So lucky for me, the radio was closest to me. Unlucky, was the fact that I was surrounded by Spanish & English speaking people, with a driver who took the keys out of the ignition every time we stopped to pick up passengers. True to mercury retrograde's challenges with communication, the broadcast of the swearing in and his inaugural speech was continually interrupted. (Don't worry I you-tubed it when I got home). I feel annoyed at having missed seeing it the way I would have liked. But what I did hear of President Obama's moved me. It invoked a sense of pride, hope, and amplified optimism for the future of my homeland. I feel proud to be heading overseas, to represent my country as an American, with great respect for where I come from and where I am headed. Onwards and upwards!
Currently I am sitting at a table in the Terminal 4 food court. It's 1pm and my flight doesn[t begin check-in for another 90 minutes. This terminal is recently built or remodeled. Shiny and new. Lots of international passengers and airline crew walking around and eating. This terminal houses not just Egyptair, but flights connecting to India, Jamaica, Ireland, Qatar, and Brazil- just to name a few. I am acutely aware that I am at a crosdsroads in life.
At 6:00pm-ish we begin to board our airbus to Egypt. The panic is beginning to set in. OH.MY.GOD.WHAT. THE.FUCK.AM. I. DOING????!!! My inner monologue is peppered with phrases like that, repeated over and over. Is my luggage going to be on the plane? Are we going to crash into a body of water? I am going to the African continent??!!! Oh crap. Here we go..
The plane is large and feels almost like a skinny theatre. All around me, the passengers are a mix of Egyptians and foreigners destined for Cairo. I find myself seated in the middle of the plane on an aisle, on the right side of the plane.To my left, was an Egyptian man who looked to be around my age. We had two empty seats between us. Sweet! Extra room!
As the plane is filling up and passengers are getting settled, I am having what is surely only my 3rd panic attack ever. I discreetly started freaking out about the fact that I was really doing it- I was finally daring to leave all that is known and familiar to me to go and experience a land I had only ever read about. All by myself. I didn't know a soul. I knew that on the plane, my tour mates were seated as well- but none of us had met yet. I felt isolated and small- a little girl in a big world. Shauna and I had been text messaging up to this point and I was really grateful for her encouraging words as she reminded me that I was going to be OK, have fun and be glad to be doing this long-dreamed of thing. I was holding back the tears at this point. I didn't want people around me to see how scared I really was. So I sat, trying to be calm. Around this time, the radio on the plane played the only Avril Lavigne song I like, "Keep Holding On". It was as if Shauna was right there holding my hand telling me it was all OK and that I wasn't alone. OK, I thought- I am going to be OK. I am going to be a big girl now and go and see the world.The plane began to taxi down the run way and as we were taking off the snow covered ground at JFK, I said a little prayer of thanks and asked to brought back home safe.
Soon after, we were gaining altitude and on our way up to 40,000 feet above the earth. The friendly and designer- scented flight attendants began to serve dinner. I had requested the Gluten Free meal and for my first in-flight meal, it was delicious. I was grateful for the distraction of discovering all of the little offerings. It reminded my a lot of my beloved Laptop Lunch box. On my little tray was a grilled chicken breast with roasted veggies, a rice cake, salad, and cheesecake with passion fruit glaze that was absolute heaven!
Thirty minutes later, the dishes were cleared and I was forced to become more aware of the obnoxious lady across the aisle over to my right. Her husband had taken the free seats behind me, so she had 2 all to herself. She looked to be in the agerange of a retired lady and looked to enjoy her life. If not for her demeanor and my feelings of anxiousness, I might have found her amusing. Instead, I was annoyed by her over excitement and curiosity. She was like a child, or rather a 16 year old girl who knew she was voted the most popular girl in school. She had already seemed to have established close friendships with members of her touring company. They would stop by just to say "Hi" throughout the duration of our 9 hour flight. Her voice was annoying- high pitched, giggly, with questions rolling easily off her tongue by the second. It was not helping me to be calm. In fact, I found myself fantasizing about violent scenarios that involved the flotation device under my seat. I silently forgave her perceived obnoxiousness when she later offered me a blanket, not realizing I already had one. I thanked her and smiled. Deep down I was thankful for the motherly kindness she showed me on that flight of incredible vulnerability.
As the hours passed, my nerves calmed but the questions about what would happen once I got off the plane, stayed. Thank god for in-flight movies!!! They played 3 back to back- " Baby Mama", " Get Smart", and "Mama Mia". I did not sleep a wink during the flight. I watched all 3 movies. I tried to doze, but planes are not made for sleeping.
About an hour before we landed, I got up to wash my face, brush my teeth and put on some mascara. I felt a little better, but oh I was looking forward to a hot shower and a nap in real bed.
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