onto the 31st

Yesterday was my birthday. 31. Yep. It feels good. Familiar and solid. I must be growing into my skin.
Birthday time, Christmas time and New Years always make me reflect on my journey thus far. I think about who I was 10 years ago, freshly turned 21 and eagerly exploring the boundaries of what it mean to be an adult. I asked myself " when did I feel like an adult?''. I can honestly yesterday was the first time I could say I identified with that role.
Being an adult means lots of things. It means paying the bills on time. It means being financially accountable. It means eating the things that make you feel good (most of the time).It means speaking the truth with love. It means getting 9 hours of sleep each night. Taking my vitamins. Saying no when I need to. Appreciating what I have. Letting go of what doesn't serve my highest good.
Lots of people have come and gone from my life, not without leaving an impression. There are moments when I think of some people and miss them terribly. An inside joke, a knowing touch, some tears spilled- all of it matters. Would I go back? Not on your life. There isn't anything I need back there now that would move me forward. Except love- there is always love.
What I have now is a cozy home, a cat who is a little too much like me, a brother who serves as an example of what kind of man I'd like my future husband to be and is my best friend, a mother who loves me with all her heart and allows me to be who I am, dear friends that support and encourage my forward movement, a car that's paid for (thanks dad!), family who helps me out with the necessary life lessons, a heart that is opening ever wider and making more love for a great and fitting love of self and in partnership. And above all else- a sense of gratitude for all that I am , all I have been, and everything I will be.