Botticelli's "Venus de Milo"
Something amazing happened to me last night.
Something I thought would never happen- an experience that I felt sure would elude me all of my life.
It was subtle at first, and then as the feelings washed over me- it felt profound and solid. The truth of it coursing through my blood and bones. Every cell and chakra warmed by the truth of it.....
I came to realize that I love and accept my whole self 100%.
Letting go of judgments around my physical form, has been challenging. And yet, I have willed myself to to so. I have let go of negativity and a few pounds too. Not that I have really been paying attention- because I haven't.
This internal shift has been in the works for a long time, and I feel it was greatly expedited by a few things:
- my return to therapy with my intuitive therapist who uses a combination of talk therapy and reiki to work through whatever issues are up to be healed
- reiki with another friend- we trade a reiki treatment from her for an intuitive reading from me. This has been healing for both of us on so many levels.
- my willingness and diligence in healing my imbalanced and stuck energy points- reframing, listening to, and affirming
- letting go of people and situations that no longer fit me, and calling in and allowing new people and situations to show up
- calling in the assistance and influence of the Goddess Aphrodite, after having her feature so prominently in readings I have had done in the last couple of weeks- invoking her energy into my life as been a very real and magical experience. This new influence has inspired me and is healing my creativity and my sexuality in a loving, kind and gentle way.
- Venus (the Roman name for Aphrodite) just eclipsed the sun (June 5 & 6) in a rare event that will bring Spiritual and Technical revolution in the near future as we have yet to know.
- Venus is also retrograde until June 27, which is why it is such a perfect time that I have returned, researched, reconnected and reevaluated this planet/goddess influence in my own life
image from www.roxyjamesfiles.wordpress.com
So last night, as I was laying in my cozy bed, with Ellie snoring away beside me- I suddenly had a vision of myself interacting with another unknown person (who was more sensed and felt than I was actually able to see exactly who it was) and felt this love surge up in me and around me. Because it has always been there, and had at last been reawakened in a way that warmed my soul like I have never known. I always expected that if that day ever come, that it would feel as if I had just run a marathon- all of the hard work and determination paying of in an endorphin ass-kicking high. It was different than that- and hardly what I expected...and so wonderful. This morning as I awoke, I could still feel the warmth of that newfound knowing present, and I knew- it's here to stay.
*happy dance*
Because I called it to me, I worked for it, I sought it, and surrendered to it. Man, I think I am actually kind of in love with myself a little. I see myself the way I look at Ellie or a dear friend or family member. Sure I have flaws and things I would prefer to improve upon and... I am also beautiful, cute, funny, awesome, voluptuous, bright, and intelligent. I am exactly what I have been waiting for. I love me for all that I am , just as I am. I am massivley grateful for all of the work, conversations, healing, loving, fearing and energy it took to get here. It has all been worth it! I feel calm and incredible at once. As if not much has changed when at the same time so much has changed that it isn't a big deal.
Aphrodite from Doreen Virtue's Goddess Oracle Deck, the one I use for readings
I am indeed, a living goddess- mighty as Aphrodite herself. <3
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