The First

Today is the first of June.

This is my first blog entry here.

This morning is the first time I have awoken in my own bed, in three days. I love sitting here, pondering the world and my day. What am I going to wear?What needs to get done? And damn... I wish I had thought to grind my coffee...(no grinder here for my decaf)

These last three days were the first time that my mom came to visit me and my brothers. She drove up from southern oregon, to be with the children she had not seen or spoken to, in many years. We were celebrating the fabulousness of her 50th birthday. There was much healing and laughter.
It was the first time, I more clearly, and definately to my surprise and great reluctance, noticed how much I was like my mother. And yet not. I can see what a lovely heart she has, and thats what makes her beautiful. We are opposites, she and I . On the ends of the spectrum. And yet - there is something that connects us - a common bond. I can't quite name it today.

It is the first time today, in a very, very long time, that I am going to work and feeling rather nervous. My promotion to another store was announced in my absence yesterday. And today I will go in to hear the " I am going to miss yous " and the "congratulations". All which are welcome, and strangely surreal. Spending 5 1/2 years in one place and then leaving for something new feels...exciting and a little sad. Like I am graduating from high school all over again. Which Ironically, was ten years ago this very month. Wouldn't it be weird if my last day there was the same day as my graduation? Hmmmmmm......

I can feel that this week, I have started a new chapter. But it's one of those really short chapters in a good story, that precedes a very intense chapter. I felt the Blue Moon of last night intensely - woven in to the fabric of my dreams. Here we go! Deep breathe. Don't forget to breathe.....