I usually am the most intuitively plugged in the shower and when I am driving. Something about being on autopilot allows me to transcend space and time and be open to receiving information about my life or people in it.
Tonight, was one such drive home. An idea began to take shape, as I was reflecting on a conversation a friend and I had just had at work. The gist of it was that she was really encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone, where some areas of my life are concerned. And the thought of doing so makes me tremble inside, and want to run screaming in the opposite direction. I so good at acting boldly and passionately when I want something. When it means making myself vulnerable to judgment- well the fear can really kick my ass. Sometimes I do it anyway, and chide myself in hindsight. And other times I think, " That felt so awesome- why didn't I do that sooner??!!!"
What you resist persists- and so I thought why not run towards the awkward and scary? The idea being birthed, is a culmination of inspiration- from a fellow blogger who listed a resolution for every month of the year fro 2011, and another fellow blogger and little sister of one of my best friends (Yes Miss Brooke- that would be you!) to step out side of the confines of the world as I know it, and challenge myself to stretch who I am, who I think I am, and who I want to be.
The desire to be more approachable, less intimidating and to live more in the gray instead of either black or white is up on the agenda. And it scares the crap out of me. That's how I know its a good idea. The end result will hopefully find me more open, approachable, and with some new people in my life.
So- what are those things that scare me? I have to really sit and contemplate that question. I do know that I want help from the outside world, in suggesting tasks and adventures for me to embark on. I want to create 6 on my own, and I want you dear reader, to also dare me to do something that scares the crap out of me. Nothing too outrageous (I am not hitchhiking across the country), and let's keep it legal. I am dying to know what adventure you think I should take on.
I want to feel the way I did when I was on the plane at JFK, headed to Egypt ALL BY MYSELF. I knew no one where I was going and I had absolutely no idea what awaited my on the other side. That whole trip was a big, giant DARE to myself and upon its completion- I felt so connected, and open, and in love with myself. I want some more of that.
Over the next couple of weeks, it is my intention to choose six goals on my own, and 6 goals from my readers. In the first week of January 2012, I will reveal my own Scary Dare List. I was serious when I wrote about being more vulnerable in my life. I have stayed too long in the comfort of what is familiar.
So go ahead- throw out those ideas! Comment on FB, send me an email, a text whatever. I truly want to hear from you.
As I was putting the finishing touches on my head for this idea on my drive home, this song came on and just seemed so appropriate. I don't why. Something about the urgency to make a move. Yeah. I need to get out there and shake my bacon! I don't have all of my life. I am not here for a long time- I am here for a good time!
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